I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
