i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
