I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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