Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
organizing the empties. That sober.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
