I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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