Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
