I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
