I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
