Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
