so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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