Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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