Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize