and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
