Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
