i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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