Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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