so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize