your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
