I look better un-naked...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
