I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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