There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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