She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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