Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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