her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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