i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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