Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she told me i tasted like america
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
