New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize