puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
