If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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