TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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