Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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