I didn't shave. On purpose
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
