Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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