i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
