i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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