come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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