Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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