Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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