Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
