I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
