If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
