The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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