weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize