FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
