also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize