I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
