we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
