Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
