So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Terrible idea I love it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
