We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize