I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
