guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
