Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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