Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
