I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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