i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
