I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
