addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
