He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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