goodnight i made you a song goodbye
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
