Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
