I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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